If you are a perfectionist, this may be reflected in your relationship. A wise saying goes that perfectionism is, in reality, anxiety disguised as productivity. You want everything to come out flawless at all costs. You can't end a thing without it being exactly as you dreamed it would be. You are willing to work long hours, just to get a flawless result. Otherwise, you will be genuinely disappointed.
Even though perfectionism seems to be an incredible quality at first, it hurts you more than you could imagine. And when you bring perfectionism into the relationship, things may deteriorate quickly.
You refrain from showing your enthusiasm.
When you are in an incipient relationship, you often find yourself overwhelmed by enthusiasm. Even if you love your brand-new lover very much, you don't want to let him see how interested you are. Do you believe this makes you too vulnerable and imperfect? Therefore, you prefer to suppress your joy and keep the appearance of a tough woman and, of course, perfect.
You think you have to be the ideal partner to receive love and attention.
Your self-esteem may be quite fragile, even if you don't realize it. The fact that you strive to be the ideal girlfriend shows that this is the only way you think you deserve affection, appreciation and attention from your partner. Perfectionism can lead to an obsession with being the ideal lover in any situation, ignoring yourself and only making sacrifices for the other person's well-being.
You don't express your needs.
Someone, at one point, made you believe that if you express your needs in a relationship, you will seem difficult or you will be a burden. So, now you prefer to protect behind perfectionism, to evade creating any kind of distress. Over time, this habit will make you ignore all your needs and neglect yourself.
You don't express your sentiments and emotions.
A perfectionist person, who prefers to keep his needs hidden, is probably not very willing to express his real emotions. You may often find yourself avoiding your feelings to maintain your reputation as a perfect and strong woman. Of course, this will hurt you later, when you accumulate a lot of contradictory emotions, which will want to come to the surface in any form.
You are very concerned about the way your relationship looks from the outside.
How do you know it's about relationship perfectionism? Analyze the way you relate to your relationship when it comes to the opinions of others. Do you care what the relationship looks like to outsiders? Are you trying to influence their perspective and make things always look pink? If so, it is very possible to be a perfectionist and do this as a couple.
In the long run, your constant efforts may lead to exhaustion, so try to gradually work with perfectionism. Don't forget that, to be beautiful and valuable, a relationship does not have to be perfect!
